Back home after a tiring day of school. I am dead beat. Anyhow, was tuning in to MTV while having my dinner and POP(!) came a short snippet of ''Public Display Affection" otherwise known as "PDA". Haha.
Was so utterly disgusted by how th americans ''show'' their love in public.
Pfffft, i applaud these americans for being so liberal even on th streets.

Americans vs. Asians.
I would have to say Asians are more conservative when it comes to PDA. But nonetheless out of th majority of asian teenagers nowadays there are bound to have a handful who adopts this sort of ''i-have-yellow-skin-but-i-have-an-american-mindset" way of thinking and guess what? It isn't surprising to see teenagers displaying their "love" in public. HAHA!

Well, I've witnessed a fellow schoolmate displaying her "LOVE" with her boyf.
A couple of my classmates were at.. V*** when they spotted her and her boyf making out at th staircase. I mean..... Hello girl, would you like some sense knocked in to you? Goddamn it, you know how th sight of you making out so intensely is kinda.....
er.... hard to stomach? It kinda makes me wna puke. Uh, it is definitely an eye-sore.
Innocent as you appear to be, i've never thought of you as such a wild child. Oh gosh, looks can be deceiving, very deceiving.

Little girl, watch yourself and most importantly, heed my advice. Respect yourself.
And do us a favour by not planting yourself by th staircase of V***.
Firstly, you are obstructing th way.
Secondly, uh..... WE ALL CAN SEE!

Cheerios schoolmate.
Show th world some "LOVE".

Words can kill. Words can hurt. Words are filled with hatred when you say them lovingly. How oxymoronic can it be?
I was walking to th nearby shops to get myself supper and was about to make a payment for my junkies when a little boy screamed "I want to eat ice cream!" his dad looked kinda pissed and patiently whispered "No boy, stop screaming." And th little punk gave his dad a mini punch in th stomach and said "I don't like you''.

Words. Frightens me, th thought of how words can intertwine and strangle you scares th shit out of me. When we were kids all we knew were "good" words like "thank you", "please" and "Love". These pleasant words filled our childhood with pure bliss, am i right?

Until th day you learnt your first "bad" word which i'd prolly guess would be- "stupid"? Well it puzzles me how I mouthed my first ''stupid'' with th most innocent expression showing absolutely no guilt. And I remembered vividly th astonished reactions i got from my parents when i scolded my barbie doll "stupid".
Well, it wasn't just th bad words i learnt, I started building angst in me. That led to me growing up learning how to throw my tantrums and this was th very beginning to a world of ''I hate you, Fcuk off"

See how we grow up? We start being tyrants that are capable of mouthing cutting words that hurts th people we love most. Ironic isn't it? Well it is true. So learn to deal with reality.

And i wonder if th younger generations are starting to pick up all these negative influences at younger age, I would probably assume that in 10-15 years time all these "innocent cuties" are nothing but "angsty punks". What a world it would be.
Aren't you afraid that you have these younger generation pointing a middle finger in your face or prolly slamming bitchy comments behind your back?

Geee, th thought of these totally freaks me out. Th world is starting to change, kids these days are no longer innocent.

We are all guilty of hurting people with words that kill.
Think about it.

Need to make a decision now.

Well not exactly now, but before 30 july.
I'm getting my wakeboard before Daddyo is taking me out to th sea for my ride @ Punggol. Jdee asked if I needed a board so he could help me get th bindings done and all but..... No. Th last time he passed me a kido's board, damn i wanted to kill him. That piece of krap nearly got me killed.

Have been doing online shopping for my wakeboard for th past two hours. And have yet to decide on one. Pfffft, guess i am pretty much fussy when it comes to such stuff. Daddy told me to make up my mind in a week or he'll just get a board for himself. How mean! Anyhow, I was browsing through th catalogues for Ronix wakeboards and O'brien. Geeeee, if only I could have a board with a combination of both designs.

I still can't decide, and I would probably take a gazillion years to decide on one! There are about 12000+ results on th types of wakeboards I could purchase. Oh krap.
I rly need to make up my friggin mind.

Hmmmmm, I need a pair of bindings and a wakeboard!

All it takes is 5 seconds to create an impression for yourself.
There, you stood before a crowd.
You had your 5 seconds of fame.
Was it really worth it?
You know best. Haha.

Good Morning folks.

Read today's Sunday Times.
I'll freak out if my future husband is such a fanatic.
Pffffft.

"I want to be a lost poem in a stranger's coat pocket, that conveys the importance of you.
To assure you of my desire, to assure you of dreams. I want all the possibilities of you in writing.
I want to give you your reflection, I want your eyes on me, I want to travel to the lightness with you and stay there, and I want everything before you...
...everything before you to follow us like a trail behind me.
I want never to say goodbye to you, even on the street corner or the phone.
I want, I want so much... I'm breathless.
I want to put my power into a poem to burn a hole in your pocket so I can sew it.
I want my words to scream through you. I want the poem not to mean that much.
And I want to contradict myself by accident, and for you to know what I mean.
I want you to be distant and for me to feel you close, I want endless days when it's day and... nighttime never to end when it's night.
I want all the seasons in one day. I want the sun to set before us and come up in front of us.
I want water up to our waists and to be drenched by the rain, up to our ankles with holes in our shoes.
...with holes in our shoes. I want to think your thoughts because they're mine.
I want only what's urgent with you.
I want to get in the way of the barriers and I want you to be a tough guy when you're supposed to,
like you do already.
...when you're supposed to. And I want you to be tender, like you do already.
And I want us to have met for a reason and I want that reason to be important.
And I want it to be bigger than us, I want it to take over us.
I want to forget. I want to remember us.

And I want your smile always, and your grimaces too.
I want your scar on my lips, and I want your disappointments in my heart.
I want your strength in my soul and I want your soul in my eyes.
I want to believe everything you say, and I do.
And I want you to tell me what's best when I don't know.
And when you're lost I want to find you.
I want to drag you from the darkness and kneel with you exhausted with the blinding light blaring on us... and..."

I want this so badly.

Remember the nights i was so high while talking to you over the phone pointlessly, aimlessly about nothing but everything, while sitting in my mother and fathers' bedroom and during the conversation, all the floral patterns on the curtains started moving, my head was slipping slowly then started to catch up with my eyes, and I would never really be listening to you, but hearing your voice was all that really mattered. Those were the nights i could actually sleep without having creepy thoughts crawling inside my head and leaking from my eyes and ears.

I miss you.

Pfffffft.


She made a faux-pas.
Then came th awkward silence.
I nearly exploded in my pants, laughing.
Why do you have to make yourself look moronic?

Tsk tsk tsk.

I believed too much, and I fell over and got myself hurt.

I used to wonder why a tree had to be called a tree, and a flower – a flower. What if I were to raise a child and teach him/her to call a tree a flower, and a flower a tree, to call blue red and red, blue, to call an apple an orange, and an orange, an apple. I wonder whether the green colour that I see is the same green that you see. I wonder if perhaps I see the green you see in pink instead. Am I making any sense?

When I was younger, I could be doing anything, something as mindless and as mindful as sitting on a chair, believing that someone, somewhere else in the world, could be doing the exact same thing I was doing. If I knocked my head against a cupboard, I’d think someone, somewhere else in the world probably knocked their head against a cupboard the same moment I did.

Sometimes, when I repeat the name of an object while looking at it over and over and over again, the word becomes meaningless and my mind would go into a tumble. I remember staring at a door knob once (yes, of all things, a door knob!), and repeating the word ‘knob’ again and again until the physical door knob and the word itself stopped connecting; until ‘knob’ suddenly became foreign-sounding. Have any of you experienced that before?

I guess in a way, our lives can be anything we make it out to be. We can call something whatever we want, it’s just whether the people we are communicating with can understand the message we are trying to convey. Sometimes, living in a world of opposites feels like fun, like how we used to play ‘Opposite Day’ when I was in primary school and ‘yes’ meant ‘no’, and ‘no’ meant ‘yes’ – BUT only when we felt like applying it. Lol. I think I am kinda wierd. Doesn't it quite tickle you?

Dratzxzxzx.

& Dratzxzxzxzxz. (for th rest of th post)

I hate chinese oral. I can't speak cheena language for nuts, oh peanuts. Anyhow, wasn't rly interested in my chinese oral. Well, th highlight of th entire oral session was entertainment brought to us by Kellie. Haha, when there's Kellie, no doubt we are entertained! (forsure!)

Haha. Kell was singing and so was Jackie and Jervais! Honestly, I felt as if i was taking part in Singapore Idol auditions. Haha!
Oh wells, thank god I made it through oral without blacking out. However, i fumbled on my words though.... and that clearly means NO DISTINCTION. wtf.
Krap, school's a big fat meanie. Guess what? I'll be down with 'Focus' lessons everyday till 6 in th evening. Like what? five days in a week? Hah. How sweet, all for th love of th big O's.

Guess I am hanging on? Or prolly plan an escape out of this study 'craze'! I'll board a jet plane first thing tomorrow morning and.....
ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMzxzxzxzxzxzx.

Sayo-nara peepo.
I hate Singapore.

I've been sitting infront of my laptop for almost four hours. Browsing through all th old photos of Cookie and Me. Haha. And I stumbled upon this Family photo in my folders. Well, that's me and Cookie's family at Cookie's POP in.... March?
Haha, my apologies. Oh wells, I can't wait till O's are over, like seriously. It is so so so darn dreadful. To be honest, I've got my ''things-to-do'' list all prep-ed up already. Well, most of th activities planned involves bonding time with Cookie and his family. Haha! Hari Raya, groceries shopping and of course, SHOPPING FOR BAJU KURUNG @ geylang serai. (WHEE!) I am feeling ecstatic at th thought of it!

Well, life is indeed meeaningful and all happy when you have found th RIGHT ONE. I mean honestly, who is as settled down as we are? Nopes, I bet there are hardly any couples out there who are planning for th future with maturity. Sigh, I advised you start finding th Right One and get real with life.

Oh... I miss Cookie so much although we just met a couple of nights ago. Haha.
However, we've been web-caming alot, practically many nights! Geeezxzxzx, we just can't seem to get enough of each other. Haha! As for th coming MONDAYS, it will definitely be HAPPY MONDAYS because Cookie has his off-days and that means he is picking me up from school! Wheeee. I love my Cookie, so darn much. Alrighto, I know you peepo are just sick of how sweet and loving we are.



Till here,
love- J

Time is lost on me. It always has been. To me, the most sensible thing about time is that the clock is a perfect circle. I keep coming back here; back to this place, but on a different day and with a different set of eyes. I read an old journal this morning. Nearly by accident, but not exactly. It had been lying there in my closet waiting for a home after a recent unpacking. Before I retired it to the drawer where I retire things, I gave it one last look. A page from another life. Same person, different day, different set of eyes, lighter pressure on the pen. A page full of certainty and also full of questions. It’s always strange to read the things you’ve hoped for in the past because by now those hopes may be spoken for or gone, transformed or altogether forgotten. Like time, hope can be so senseless. It can carry us up mountains or lie us in the quicksand. But like time, hope is unstoppable, inevitable, and blind. Sometimes we travel fast, hurdling towards the unknown, sometimes the unknown comes hurdling towards us while we watch time standing still.'




I have this strange feeling that I’m not myself anymore. It’s hard to put into words, but I guess it’s like I was fast asleep, and someone came, disassembled me, and hurriedly put me back together again. That sort of feeling.


I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way.

Goodnight, love.