Monsters with bloody teeth

I'd kept my word and stayed close. I didn't need to go far; fifty steps and i had found myself alone, more alone than i'd ever been. I'd stopped to take this in, not so much afraid as interested. I'd arrived in a small clearing, surrounded by a number or tall trees with dying leaves that hadn't given up the ghost just yet. I'd spread my arms and tilted my head all the way back and closed my eyes and listened to the silence.

what's on tv?

I just wanna sit down on my couch, stuff myself silly with Aglio Olio and watch sappy love movies.
Take a walk around my neighborhood and stare at 'em boys and girls.
Roll on the field at WCP with my imaginary friend, Kyle.
i wanna make frozen ice lollies.

If there's no winter, please let it rain.

missed a beat.

You know what I think we are most afraid of? Not knowing. Not knowing whether it's all really worth it. Not knowing if you should give up or keep fighting. Not knowing why you do the things you do; not knowing the purpose. It's like when you're little and you touch the stove and get burned, because you didn't really know that it was hot. Not knowing has always hurt us, from the very beginning.

BULLOCKS

When adults say, "Teenagers think they are invincible" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.

i wonder sometimes..

about how people develop. why do we all seem relatively happy as children, but grow old to be at a loss of hope and saddened and beat up by the world? why is it that when we're children everyone says "stop it" "shush" "you can't do that. you shouldn't do that"; and after a while, we start believing them? why are so few of us left active, healthy, and without personality disorders? we grow up to be the old cynical people we never wanted to be. Or the lonely, and sad, only because we accustom ourselves to believe that the world is too much to handle. It never used to be. We were just curious. Young and bright eyed. More full of wonder than anything else. The world was strange, but not a place to be afraid of.

--

So lets become children again. Regain control over ourselves and our perception of the world. Lets tell ourselves we can, instead of we can't. Lets make our worlds small, know our neighborhoods and ride bikes. Spend time with each other just because we've got all day. Play night games and quit worrying about mosquitos or work in the morning. Let the idea of money become abstract and unimportant. Learn to bake and have conversations. Receive heirlooms from strangers and become ourselves again. it might be difficult, but it's worth a shot. to enjoy ourselves and our existence. i think we can. mmm. yes. to become lovely.

I'll be my rescue.

Wonderful and some people seem to be blind to it, it can be discouraging at times. Suppose you cant change peoples opinions. Im writing here, Im human. trying to make my way to the skies. I will be here for an easy one to talk to. I am here to appreciate and to love. I am here with curiosity and imagination, all I want is be a truthful person. Today emotions are here, they are flowing in with some reason. I am trusting my state of mind once more. I will be able to overcome what is needed and I can feel it coming on. So glad I have the ability to rise up after being shoved down. The reality of being alive is simply amazing. How dare they ever question existence? Coming in contact again with truth. Resolving unresolved issues. Only I need to understand myself. Simply needed to press the re-start button. There you are, shiny and clean, good as new. Now losing touch with over stimulation is fine. No depressing dark rooms with unknown creatures lurking around.

Color making its way back into life.. Creating something new on a constant basis. Giving my thoughts and my love away freely. Ill send you something to work with. I want to listen to their stories, they might not matter ultimately, but when they matter to you and you matter to me, it is alright. Excitement not really, more of the feeling of contentment and peace. A thrill is all well, but this is lovely and warm. Forever a good person, and I think it should stay. I listened to the sounds of beauty today, and there I was. Im getting back to work, my mind can focus once more.
Get out of there you little lost girl, I'm here to rescue you.

You see, that’s what people fail to understand.

Time doesn’t actually exist.

It’s something invented.

Something we use to justify the shortness of our lives.

You can’t stop time, or slow it down – or even speed it up.

Because; it doesn’t exist.

It’s nothing.

Just born from human natures painful instrinsic drive to organise and have everything wrapped tightly in logic.

...

But now, I feel like I have lost time.

I mean, the sun goes up and down, our socially-constructed ‘calendars’ keep spinning. Like the world.

But everything feels attached.

All the days and minutes and hours are all stuck together.

I will hold myself here, forever.

Time with you around is drenched in sticky, golden honey.

I am here as I always will be.

Dear Mom,

"I dont know why to stay, I dont know what to miss. I dont know what to do here but getting old. I drank
so much last night, I heard my life burning. What can I do in this world? I asked myself, what can I do?"

"Mom I feel sick, in their world, life is about rules. It makes me unhappy.
Mom, you gave me life. But I messed it up.
They take a bus everyday between work place and home.
They care about food and wages. The truth is,are they all crazy or am I?"

"But mom you know I am a piece of gold, gold will illuminate someday, sooner or later..."

highways and street lights

If tonight, was th only chance for you to take th last train out of here, how are you going to run away?

If this one life is left with one love to share, are we going to turn our backs on it?
We'll pray in th darkest night for brighter days. Nothing's really worth anything if it brings you down easily.

I'd like to be on my way on th road where I know will lead me to certainty.

free-dreams-for-all

Once upon a time, you woke up and everything was falling apart.


Everything you thought you could do, that you thought made you special, someone else could do better. Maybe everyone caught up to you while you weren't growing; or maybe it wasn't you from the beginning. And when you tried it for yourself, the humiliation that followed traumatized you, and you never again wanted to face something that wasn't secure.

See, that's when suffering can come in handy; You realize that imperfection is a possibility, an option, a reality. What I wanted was the ability to be someone else, or at least pretend to be.

Sometimes, that's all a person ever wants to hear. And I heard it from someone special. He said it and made my day, like he always makes my day, makes me smile.

I don't know why he's there, or why me. He just told me that I always make him smile, and I have no idea how that's possible. It's him that always makes me smile, that makes me feel good about myself. And when he says he misses me, I believe him, searching my name, my company, my conversation as soon as he can.

Sometimes people come at the right time. I know HE did, just in time to save my dying self-esteem. When the person who's supposed to care for you more than anything -- doesn't, then someone else does. And does it real well. I'm so thankful.

If this be a fairy tale, it wouldn't sell. Children won't grow up remembering and treasuring the boy and the girl with their human faults and flaws who accepted each other whilst running out of good things to say. No one would care, and neither would I. I'll just go on living this fairy tale wannabe, and smiling as I do so.

In the end, it's my smile that matters the most.

And you're just gonna have to let me go with that.

let's pretend we're all alone.

You try sitting down at MacDonalds with people who have no aim and no motivation in life and just talk about how the societies slowly filling up with all these hipsters some even hipster like youth who care too much about what other people think to actually realize that they're just lonely misfits who cant decide where they would like to settle in this tiny society of ours and then see if you can actually find the strength to just ask them all to shut the fuck up and stop talking about stupid hipsters when they themselves quietly wished they were part of the misfits and then walk out just walk out the retard glass doors that always swing in your face and run across the road almost get knocked down and then miss your bus home after all that running take a smoke and walk home instead because that's life now and nobody cares about picnics with your friends and baking cakes on your friends birthdays anymore because everybody's always rushing for time and nobody cares about your existence as if I ever did but whatever everyone's lost in their own world now anyway.

You had me at Goodbye.

two strangers said "goodbye" to me as I got off th bus.
I was all smiles as I walked home. Thank you.