For the last two days, I decided to stick with the same bus route to school. And it must have been a hint from God, for I took the same bus as a father with his pre-school daughter. Well, it sounds normal right? I mean.. I assume that most people who commute to school or work would have at least 80% chances of bumping into the same lot of passengers in the bus we transport in. But what made my bus ride so emotional was firstly the sight of the father sending his daughter to school by bus. Well, in many cases now, many of us have the luxury of having our parents transport us around in your comfortable cars. But... I like to take another point of view in life. I'd rather spend hours walking or on bus rides. Yes, to many it may sound crazy but I like company. I like long walks that allows me to just keep talking about everything under the sun. I like bus rides where we look at the happenings around us. Because.... In my family car, everyone goes into their world of their own. My sister plugs-into her mp3 while my mum texts on her phone.. Not to mention my dad... He gets all worked up when the traffic doesn't flow. And... For me? I look out of my car window and hope.. and hope that even for th last three minutes of my car-ride, all four of us are engaged in a family conversation. I miss the part where I talk, and I share, and you all take time to actually listen. But no... It appears to me that, you three don't seem to catch my "alien" language, or maybe... You three hardly take interest. Even if you do make the tiny effort of listening, all you do is suggest that your advices are always BETTER. Maybe... Life is so straightforward. Everything revolves round rules/restrictions/facts. Sadly, this makes all human beings the same. What a pity.
What I saw next heightened my emotions. The father was tying his daughter's hair. Not to mention it was all neat.. and proper. When was the last time my dad gave me a pat on my shoulder? Or touched my head with assurance? For the record, I guess it must have been a rusty memory. All he does is "side" my sister. Helps her come up with 1001 excuses for her not achieving her optimal potential. I'm sick to the gut.
I see how my parents "invest" hundreds of dollars on my sister's (passion) for softball and still put up with her poor academic results. Well.... Did I mention it cuts me so deep whenever I carry a smile to tell you "Mom, Dad, I made it to the team." only to be brushed off with a "Oh, good for you.". It sucks. Why is it that you two make it such a "BIG DEAL" with my sister's "achievments"?. Hosting dinners/parties. Did you guys ever ever make the effort of planning a birthday for me? AS PARENTS. No.
I just want.. Time, and patience. To listen to what I have to say. I never knew it was a chore, because... I listen to what others around me have to share WHOLEHEARTEDLY. Why can't you just do the same? (As parents).
You two tell me "I'd bash whoever hurts my daughter." Why not... You take a step back and consider... That noone in the whole world can hurt me the way you(two) does it. It makes me crawl to bed crying in my dreams. Sometimes... I lie to myself to assure everyone that everything is OK.
But now?
Now... I'll enjoy my long walks alone. Where I'm happiest with myself.
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