Do they come as snail mail?

On the way home lastnight i found many snails. it was kinda like a nightmare the further down my street i got the denser the mass of snails became. I killed about a hand full or do they just become slugs?

I'd call it a nightride.

Sometimes I feel like I can be about as subtle as an eartquake, with its breaks in between. Nobody really pays attention these days, it's easy when we're so caught up. But it's not always easy to be upfront, though ideal, when it comes to most things. Sometimes it feels a little silly if I keep repeating things people already know here, but I need some meaning I'm able to memorise, because these so easily slip my mind. Maybe it's a lot to ask from someone as so not to speak, but if it's one thing to remember, then it's always another one to live again. I've always known there comes a fine line between these two but in my recent twisted conscience, I've come to realise we're seperate-- in grief, in time; I would have to pull myself out to fully understand this metaphysical act. It can be daunting to realise by the day so much of yourself you haven't found before, to suddenly be aware of the capacity of your own doing. It can be overwhelming, you turn around and realise how far you've got and realise this was who you were all along. My wrists hum from memory-- you feel it when the wind suddenly changes. The sky feels closer and the people distant but maybe I'm just imagining too much, what more with so much time on my hands and not much to do these consecutive days-- I feel them blend into one long night.

Fear my tears.

We know circles never come to a definite end point.
We know we can never turn back time.
We know we can never unravel a knot of anger.
We know we can never erase the mistakes we have made.
We know some things in life are just out of our reach.

But I know.
I know I am wishing so hard, hoping against hope that the girl who died in the storybook could have been me.
I know I wish I could keep my eyes open in the chilly water seeing every wave of sorrows sweep me deeper into the currents.
I know I will be brave enough to break the little childrens' hearts by telling them toothfairies don't leave them a penny under their pillows, santa claus doesn't have a list of the names of all the "nice" children around the world and fairytales, don't exist and never will.

I know I will laugh as I watch myself wake up helplessly from an awfully beautiful dream of me dying. It tickles me. Because those aren't nightmares. The only nightmares I wake up from are those where you appear to make my world go round with joy, laughter and love. Because when reality gives me an alarming wake up call...
Everything, everything.. Is just so ugly, so nasty, so very cold.

But I compose myself. It is one of those moments where I would curl up in a very very dark corner of my room in a curled up position. My sanity hanging by a thread.
Just one last straw for anyone or anything would cause me to trip and give into insanity.

I am a very scary kid. You don't know me like how the other people in my mad mad world know me. Because.. Kids in my mad mad world tell me they won't wait for the day they feel happy.


You'll see, I am psychotic.

Sugar.

I want to twist, lick and dunk you in my cup of hot choco and have you for supper.

Ally Buddy.

This blogpost is dedicated to you, ALLY.
I certainly hope this is useful. :B

LONG & BEHOLD, THE LEICA V-LUX 1;


Here's a little more info about the camera.
*All inclusive.
The performance spectrum of the LEICA V-LUX 1 is all you could possibly wish for. It takes delicate macro shots, space-grabbing wide-angle views and super tele nature photos without having to change the lens. Everything works in perfect harmony: the LEICA VARIO-ELMARIT lens, the optical stabiliser, the fast and precise autofocus and the ultra fast image signal processor.

*Strong performance.
The compact V-Lux 1 is a match for entry-line digital SLR systems any time. The V-Lux 1 combines top-class optics, magnificent image quality, 12x zoom and 10 megapixel image resolution in an ultra compact, convenient design.

*Panoramic display.
The swivelling display of the LEICA V-LUX 1 is an ingenious solution for unusual or uncomfortable perspectives. The 2.0 inch high-resolution LCD can be swivelled horizontally and vertically through 180°.

(+) points: Responsive, 12x optical, image-stabilized zoom lens; raw capture; sensitivity to as high as ISO 1,600.
(-) points: : Big camera body; auto white balance is bad with tungsten lighting; expensive. Price range is about $1000++ to under $2000+

I'll share with you some photos I took with the help of this camera:

Somewhere I call, wonderland.

This is where I write something for you. This is where I sit down and open a vein. This is where I miss you. This is where I try and find the feeling of prickled skin. This is where I push the headphones closer. This is where I tell you what I think. This is where I tell you what I know. This is where I tell you that it’ll all be ok. This is where I talk to a stranger who isn’t a stranger. This is where I keep my peace, hope, love and happiness. This is where the wind blows. This is the mulberry bush. And around and around we go.

would "like" some?

i like made alphabet soup today, and no not from a can because that is like dumb. i made it from scratch because i'm cool like that and perhaps because some people were like sick and i went to like visit because i wanted to be like nice. and because... err, perhaps like i think i feel like it. like being nice. like having nice chats. like caring. because i like my friends. like both new and old. because i like how they care. and like i didn't feel like doing anything else today...

hold up, wait a minute. sprinkle some love in it.

Dear John,

Dear John.
By, Nicholas Sparks;
has a way with words and this movie promises to take you into a magical place with Dear John. In this heartbreaking novel you are on the edge of your seat praying for John as he is overseas defending his country after 9/11, while your heart goes out to his beloved girlfriend back in the US. Its an improbable romance that steals your heart and makes you wish for a love like theirs. You go through the ups and downs of family devastation and them being thousands of miles apart.

I must admit... I can relate to this story. Very well to be exact. Emotionally to be even more exact.

Hmmm, and so I met this stranger 2 and a half years back. No, it isn't what you are anticipating. You must have been expecting... Love at first sight, blah blah blah.
Honestly, thankfully.. No.

So, where was I? Oh yes, a stranger. A stranger that ignited a spark in a tiny corner of my heart when we first had our conversation together. But simple as it remained... We were nothing more than friends.
A fine line was drawn, we thought nothing could become out of the friendship we had (then) and so... We moved on with our seperate lives, but... I guess the knot in our friendship wouldn't unravel and it kept us tied together (as friends).

Down the months, (as friends) we met with life's complications. We had to handle our emotions and that meant keeping our infatuations we had for each other a secret. I would probably take a bet that we were the biggest liars living on earth then.
Checking up on each other once in awhile. Popping random questions like "So how's life for you?" and throwing oh-so-friendly "accusations" like "C'mon... I am sure you're attached by now". What the hell were we thinking?

We bloody knew deep down in our heart we missed each other so badly when school schedule was packed for me and we didn't see each other online that much. We bloody knew that it hurt so bad when we saw how "preoccupied" each other got in our private dating lives. Still, we were in denial. We reminded ourselves.... "We are just friends, nothing more."

But what about now? I ask of you... To stay close and never go. You came as a friend, stayed as a lover and I want you to know... Wherever you go, I am coming along.

All it took was two weeks for us to realize we were madly in love. Nothing more than two weeks.
You were and will be my best present I received on my 15th Birthday.
Not knowing how to spell LOVE untill you came along has so far been the best damn thing that has ever happen to me.

Yours truly.


"If I go away, what would still remain of me? The ghost within your eyes? The whisper in your sighs? You see... Believe
And I'm always there."

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has got one.

i have conversations with myself in my head, and we go way back. we come up with all kinds of rubbish, and together start to understand things better. unfortunately, i never write anything down so whatever has been said is lost, only to be recalled when someone else brings it up thinking how cool they are to have been the first to think about it. maybe everyone has conversations with themselves. maybe everyone thinks they're the first to come up with it. maybe we should all step back and realise everyones pretty much the same, everyone has and opinion, its just that some of us have bigger gobs than others.