Blow the candles out.

Lately, I've been pretty much aware of what I hear, what people say, what you say and for once, I am actually paying attention to the lyrics of every song I listen to. Guess you get the point now? I've woken up. Shook myself awake so I could save myself from the lies I deny myself of.

I woke up after 4hours of sleep last night and I decided to pack my wardrobe. I dug out a tiny bag of "memories". I figured that I've given love too many chances, it played me out. Now, I pretty much got the whole picture figured out and that love hadn't and will not work out for me. It won't work out for me and I will never allow myself to get lost along the way.

Looking back at all I've done for love, I am pretty sure I left behind a massive load memories for you to keep. I'd travel miles just to meet you whenever I felt you tired after a long day, but sadly, you kept me waiting. You kept me waiting for minutes, hours and months... waiting patiently for the one day you'd SHOW me love. Not TELL me how love works.

Sometimes, it's got to take "more than just words". Unfortunately, I've quit playing the waiting game and I'm moving on. I'll be a stop ahead so I'll never have to look back at this painful scene. I'll take on another road so we'll never have to cross each others' path ever again.

A friend once told me that the colors on photos fade after some time, and I denied her fact and said "I'll keep my photos in a frame." You see, I thought I kept love protected in a frame. I did everything I could to keep it together. I made sure the colors remained bright and cheery, the way we wanted it to be. I made sure the colors didn't run. I made sure I loved you more with every passing day. I made sure I woke up every morning to have you on my mind. I made sure, you were in my prayers every night.
I made sure I showed you how much I care when I made little "first-aid" kits. I made sure you smile whenever you had a bad day. I made sure I showed understanding even though what you did killed me so much.

I made sure I did everything I could. Tell me, what was it I have not done?

I gave love too many chances. I fumbled, I trusted again. I bled, I believed again. I forgave, I was born again. But this time..... I woke up, and I will never look back again.

Don't you worry, I've seen the black and white to life, and I hope you realize I am not a jaded soul. I won't go on playback and let it run on replay. I am moving on to realize the brighter shade of life.

It's too late now. Now that you're finally waking up to your mistakes? I have nothing left to say but "Take back your sorry's."

I'm no longer wallowing in the gloom of love. I'm finally seeing the flame.
I see the burning flame in the happiness I share to the others around me. I cherish what I have on my hands now.

I need you to know, I am finally understanding how happiness works. I don't need to know how others define love and happiness.
I'll walk my path and maybe someday, I'll find my own definition to love and happiness.
But as far as I know, the people who has brought hurt upon me, will not be included in the picture.


It won't matter to me how long it'll take for me to seek an answer but I am very sure I'll have my own picture of happiness framed and hung on my wall someday.


Till here, I'd like to wish you all the very best in whatever you wish to do.
Perhaps, this episode has made you realize your mistakes. It is indeed too late to have me back. But I'm here to remind you that it isn't too late to make it up to the people around you now.


Best wishes.